Friday, November 21, 2008

Ruminations by Sister P.

Hello Saints,

I decided to blog today... it's been awhile since I have... so today is the day to spew my thoughts into cyberspace for anyone who may care to indulge me. If not, now's a good time as any to press the "delete" button located towards the right on your keyboard... (smile).

Hmmmm, let's see where should I begin... OH I KNOW... my newfound reputation... yes... I've beencalled every name in the book in the course of my life, so why not one more to add to it... the new oneis... Bible Thumping Jesus Freak. Hmmmm, Bible Thumping Jesus Freak, now what thoughts floodyour mind when you read those four words? Please join me in my ruminations... I got that word "ruminating" from Pastor Ho... some of you may know who Pastor Ho is... he's a smart and cool dude.

So how in the world, did I become a Bible Thumper Jesus Freak? Not only this, but I was told I comeout of the movie The Shining... I actually have not seen that movie, believe it or not... I know about it though, I mean, how could you not, when everyone under the sun was talking about it... and walkingaround saying Red Rum, Red Rum... that's disgusting, but anyway... let's move forward with my ruminations on Bible Thumping Jesus Freak...

I looked up the word Bible Thumping and here is the definition:

Bible thumper (also Bible beater, Bible basher) is a pejorative term used to describe Christian fundamentalists, or anyone perceived as aggressively pushing their Christian beliefs upon those who do not share them. Its target domain is broad and can often extend to anyone engaged in a public show of religion, fundamentalist or not. The term alludes to a preacher thumping his hand hard down on the Bible to emphasize a point during a sermon.

Ok, so... I was referred to as a Bible thumper, and as it describes above, I am supposedly perceived as aggressively pushing my Christian beliefs upon those who do not share them. Interesting huh? Well, I never thought of myself as a person who pushes my faith on others. But I can say I'm certainly zealous, passionate and excited about the things of God, which propels me at times to share it with others. I can't imagine myself slamming down on a Bible though, I'm more prone to point than slam (smile).

Ok, now on to the next term, Jesus Freak:

What's a Jesus Freak? The words "Jesus Freaks" were first coined in the late sixties, when hippies became part of a new revival, the Jesus Movement. It was then when music, poetry, and an open expression for Jesus Christ turned a new generation on to God. It merged rock and roll with the Gospel message, a wave we're still riding today known as contemporary Christian Music. It infused the Church with the arts. It shook up conventional worship. And, due to its "in your face" approach, it had a backlash. The rest of the world called these over-zealous young people "Jesus Freaks" as a derogatory term. But decades later a new generation is embracing that same passion for expression.

Hey, Hey, Hey... I'm LIKING that definition! And yes, that definitely describes me alright! So, I'm dumpin the thumpin but keepin the freak!

You know what amazes me in all of this... people can be fanatical about sports, clothes, politics andwhat have you... chew your ear off for hours over utter nonsense that doesn't even matter... but God forbid you bring up the word "Jesus" and all hell breaks loose. All of a sudden, you are a Jesus Freak, when you were once referred as some nice chick. So, I guess it really doesn't matter to them that God came down to earth and took the form of a man, just so that He can betortured, suffer and die for the sins we commit against Him every day... ohhhhhh, I see, sooooo I'm a Jesus Freak... ok... cool... Now mind you, I'm not into scaring people off... Like I said, I'm passionate about God... and I guess I want for others what I want for myself; freedom, peace and love. If you take the time to look around you, people are basically miserable... they walk around in a quiet desperation... with all their hurt, pain and suffering... all they want is for it to go away. And all I want and desire is for them to grab hold of Jesus... because He holds the key to their existence. Everything they long for, everything they desire. The deep groaning of their heart, the void of their soul, the loneliness that plagues them daily... the incessant tugging, the restlessness, the hunger of something more they can't quite put their finger on... Only propels them to run into the arms of another man, woman or both... or perhaps it's drugs, alcohol, food or material possessions they run to, whatever it is... we run to these things to ignore, deny and escape from the reality of the condition of our souls... we need to run into the arms of the only person who can satisfy the inner longings of our hearts and quench our thirsty souls... His name is Jesus Christ. If we choose Him, we choose Life... because Jesus is the way, the truth and the life... He is everything we will ever need and want. He holds the key to it all, just grab hold of Him and there is no telling what God will do in and through your life if or when you do.

So, I guess it ain't so bad being called a Jesus Freak after all... and so what if people talk about me,or call me names, even downright laugh or mock me... so what! I know deep down that my Heavenly Father smiles at me and is well pleased. And at the end of the day, that's all that really matters, notwhat people think or say about me, but what God thinks and says about me. Noone will ever loveme the way He does anyway, I'm convinced of this... so I'd rather be a Jesus Freak any time, any day, any where. Glory, Glory! Thanks for taking the time in reading my ruminations... have a blessed weekend.

In His love,
Sister P.

Monday, October 27, 2008

Our Youth...

I thought today would be another ordinary day. I went about my usual morning routine, bustling out of my apartment and racing against time. I walked out into the street, looked up at the sky and noticed it was a beautiful day. I said goodmorning to my neighbors and made a right heading toward the subway.

I was in my own world, listening to the song Liquid by Jars of Clay (one of my favorite Christian bands). Until I happened upon a teenage boy yelling, cursing and hitting this girl in the face. At first glance, I thought he might have been playing around, but I quickly realized that he wasn't. The expression onthe girl's face moved me with compassion. I realized I had to make a choice, either to stop and say something, or keep going and ignore it.

I decided to do the latter, I mustered up enough courage, headed toward the young man and said, "Excuse me, but would you kindly stop doing what you are doing and refrain from hitting her? I don't think he was expecting anyone to say anything to him. So he responded, "What?!" So I said, "Would you stop doing what you are doing and refrain from hitting her?" He said, "Who the bleep are you!", "Why don't you just go bleep myself!", "Why don't you mind your own bleeping business!", "She's my sister and I can bleeping talk to her any way I bleeping want to!", "So, get the bleep out of my face!"

These words just seemed to surprisingly bounce off of me and had no effect. I was clearly nervous, but I forged ahead and held my position. I sternly said to the young man, that he had two choices; he was either going to stop hitting his sister, or I would call the police. Well, obviously, he cursed me out some more, and for a more dramatic effect, grabbed his body part and all... I just told him Jesus loved him. He looked at me like I was half way out of my mind and I just won't repeat what he said Jesus could do. But, something compelled me to follow him and keep telling him Jesus loved him. So, I followed him and his friends telling him, Jesus loved him. At this point, he was cursing and yelling in frustration, saying, "What did God ever do for him!" "How is He helping him!" I responded by saying, "He's giving you life, that's what He is doing for you!" He then says, "What the bleep do you want from me and why do you keep bleeping following me!" I calmly told him that I wanted to talk to him. So he stopped at the corner as his friends continued on.

I justed asked him if he thought hitting his sister was an effective way of communication? He said, that that's what his parents did and he doesn't want his sister to wind up like him; a drop out. I told him I understood and that it was a good thing that he cared about his sister going to school. I also told him he could go back to school. But he said that he couldn't. However, that he was working toward getting his GED though, and will be going to college. I told him that was great that he was still pursuing his education. I told him he was a good kid and that he can do it. Then I asked him if anyone had disrespected him and he shook his head yes. I asked him how it made him feel? He responded, not good. I told him, wouldn't you agree then, that there is a more effective way of communicating beside cursing and hitting his sister? He didn't say anything, but just listened.

Then I used myself as an example and explained that I am 42 years old and still trying to overcome the effects of abuse when I was a child. I told him there is a much better way than abuse and disrespect. Abuse and disrespect don't get the proper results, but is very harmful and messes people up. He was really listening and taking in what I was saying. Then I just saw this hurt little boy standing in front of me. I felt so much compassion for him, my heart grieved and all I wanted to do was hug him or cry. But I held myself back, because he would have really thought I was crazy! So I just apologized to him and he in turn apologized to me. I told him I wanted the best for him and I also cared about his sister graduating from High School. I concluded my conversation with him by saying that Jesus really loved him. He just smiled at me this time. I told him that it's true, that He really loves him because He had me follow him and not give up on him. I shook his hand and told him, God bless you.

In writing this, I say, that my heart is grieved for our youth. There are so many hurting children throughout this city. I admit that my heart has always been focussed overseas. However, God showed me this morning how great the need is amongst our children in this very city. Will you please join me in praying and interceding for our youth? May a great revival sweep throughout this city bringing our youth into His Kingdom for the glory of God I pray, Amen!

In His love,
Sister P.

Thursday, October 16, 2008


"Go to now, ye rich men, weep and howl for your miseries that shall come upon you.Your riches are corrupted, and your garments are moth eaten. Your gold and silver is cankered; and the rust of them shall be a witness against you, and shall eat yourflesh as it were fire. Ye have heaped treasure together for the last days. Behold,the hire of the labourers who have reaped down your fields, which is of you keptback by fraud, crieth: and the cries of them which have reaped are entered into theears of the Lord of sabaoth. You have lived in pleasure on the earth, and been wanton; ye have nourished your hearts, as in a day of slaughter. Ye have condemned and killedthe just; and he doth not resist you." James 5:1-6

Goodmorning Saints, I came across this in my reading this morning. I've been trying to be faithful and disciplinedin reading the Bible every morning. And these verses literally jumped out at me. It's an incredible thing when this happens, when the Word is made alive, right before your eyes.The Word transfers from letters into life... amazing! I give all thanks and glory to Godthe Father, God the Son and God the Holy Ghost for such revelation!

When you read these verses, does it remind you of anything perhaps? (smile)

Well, it's precisely what is happening on Wall Street! GREED, LUST... and what arethey reaping now... misery, fear, despair! They put all their security in their earthly investments, the Stock Exchange... and look at where it's getting them, nowhere! Isay this with sadness and not pleasure... I have been especially burdened lately forour nation and have begun to cry out to the Lord fervently. I don't want to soundlike doomsday... but everyone is really hoping things will turn around, but God showedme that it won't, unless there is true repentance. I know a lot of you are not going tolike what I'm saying, but I realize that I have an obligation not to please man, but God. And if God is telling me to say something, then I must not compromise, but speak truth. Not "my" truth, but His truth. For my truth and righteousness are but filthy rags and a stench to the nostrils of God.

My brothers and sisters, dearly beloved in Christ,we must take a stand now... we must get on our knees, repent and get things rightwith God. And then, we must cry out in prayer for our nation, the United States of America. The days are short and Jesus is coming back soon. We must be ready and vigilant my dear brothers and sisters. I pray for all those that are asleep, that the Lord awaken hearts and set them ablaze for God for such a time as this. Will you join me? God bless you all!

In His love,
Sister P.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

I'm inspired...

I know it's been awhile since I haven't written, I am really going to make it a point to write. I was reminded about blogspot through one of my bosses. He has a cooking blogspot. It's really cool! I'm a foodie and I love to cook and bake. But what I'm really passionate about is the things of God.

I know a lot of us are following our economy and we are living in a tumultuous time. I truly believe that the Lord is allowing it for a higher purpose, and that's to get everyone's attention off money and on to Him. Unfortunately, this country is now living in perpetual greed and lust. And God being a Sovereign and Just God has had enough of our shenanigans. We as a country need to get back to the basics, get on our knees and repent. Christians in this country and around the world need to cry out to God like never before if we want to see healing on our land and around the world. God can send revival, however, He won't send it if there isn't repentant hearts.

Personally, I'm coming before the Lord and asking that He help me and cleanse my heart... purify my heart oh Lord and renew a right spirit within me. That's what I truly desire... I want to be as a light unto darkness and shine brightly whereever my feet tread. I want to walk the walk and not just talk the talk. I pray that we come together, pray and fast for God's mercy on this nation and around the world. We need Him and we need His Help. May the Lord have mercy and grace upon us all. Amen.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

You are Everything and by BRIAN DOERKSEN

Hello Saints of God, how is everyone doing today? Me, I'm doing well, can't complain... God is good. My brother in Christ Ray Mattel sent me the link of You are Everything by Brian Doerksen and I added one of my favorites by him too called, Refiner's Fire, which is my daily prayer. What annointed songs these are, I love Brian Doerksen's worship songs, they really lead me to the throne of God. I was on the train this morning listening to his Today CD and all I wanted to do is get up and start praise dancing, I was visualizing the whole choreography in my head. Can you imagine if someone started to break into praise dancing on the train? Oh my gosh... anyway, streams of tears started to come down my face as I listened to this cd. Whenever that occurs, I'm always trying to quickly wipe the tears away, so noone would notice. But that's one thing about New York is that noone cares anyway, HA! What I mean to say is that people don't bud into your affairs, they mind their own business. So you can be sitting there crying your guts out and people won't pay you no mind... I can't say I'm like that though... I just don't have it in me to ignore someone that's crying.In any event, that's not what I wanted to write about, what I actually wanted to write about is Jesus. He is EVERYTHING! Hallelujah! I was sharing with Ray this morning how it's so amazing when you enter into that place with God, where you just lose yourself and are just in His presence. I always say to God, can I stay here? I mean, can I just camp out and hang out with you like this forever... HA HA... He says, yes, when I'm done with you on earth, you'll spend eternity like this with Me. But right now, you need to stay on earth and serve me, despite the challenges, despite the hurts, despite the betrayals, despite it all... however, I will give you glimpses of my glory to sustain and encourage you along the way. You know, that sort of reminded me of Mark 9:2-5, "And after six days Jesus taketh [with him] Peter, and James, and John, and leadeth them up into an high mountain apart by themselves: and he was transfigured before them. And his raiment became shining, exceeding white as snow; so as no fuller on earth can white them. And there appeared unto them Elias with Moses: and they were talking with Jesus. And Peter answered and said to Jesus, Master, it is good for us to be here: and let us make three tabernacles; one for thee, and one for Moses, and one for Elias." You got to love Peter... I mean, I can relate... LOL! Then, what came to mind is how inadequate I think I am in light of who He is and why would He want to use an imperfect specimen like myself. Seriously... I mean, I don't measure up, and quite frankly, I don't think I ever will. And then there is the factor of others seeing your failure, and saying, but aren't you a Christian? Do you ever get that? I mean, I'm keeping it real here... you know, I try as I may to walk as a Christian, and quite frankly, if you were to look at my statistics and grade me, I probably would get a big fat F. So, I told God this morning, why in the world do you want to use me to serve you, if I have failed you time and time again? I mean, why would you do something like that, when there are more qualified candidates for the job? He tells me, I delight in using broken vessels like you... because when you're broken, I receive the glory and not you. I was walking to work and I had to stop for that one... wow... that was deep... you know Saints, it's so true, it's not about us at all... it's all about Him. If we can just get our eyes off of ourselves and onto God, there is no limit in what He can do in and through our lives. I can honestly confess to all of you, that even though I may get an F as a grade, my spirit loves Jesus passionately. I love Jesus and I'm not embarrassed to declare that to anyone anywhere anytime. I am coming to realize that I will always be human, but I can continue to grow and allow God to use everything, the bad and the good, to build my character, day by day, image by image, until I meet Him face to face. Sure, there will be some failures along the way, but there will also be some victories too, but we must continue on and not give up.I also realize that when I'm worshipping and I'm not thinking about me, my spirit can soar... I realize that our spirit in unity with His Spirit is joyful and peaceful. It's our mind and flesh that keeps us trapped and bound up... the more we can get our eyes off of ourselves and on to Jesus, we can experience Him in greater and deeper ways. I just know that when I do, I have this insatiable hunger for more of Him... it's an amazing experience, and it goes beyond feeling or emotion... You just know He's real and that He is all the Bible says He is and that's just so reassuring and uplifting. I just wanted to share this with all of you today... may the Lord continue to bless and encourage each one of you. Thank you for all your prayers, I truly appreciate it. In His love, Sister P.

Friday, June 6, 2008


Today I was sitting on the train this morning, when I noticed to the right of me, this homeless woman. She was about in her early 60's, of oriental decent and seemed tormented. My heart went out to her as I watched her expressions and how disheveled she appeared. Her legs appeared swollen and she had these huge bags that she was carrying although she was very small in stature. I don't know, but I took pity on her as she sat there alone, noone had a care in the world as they passed her by. How is it that we get so callous? I wondered if she had family and why she was alone like this? I thought of what lead her to be where she is today? If she had any family and if they even cared what happened to her? Then I thought about Jesus... the Bible refers to Him as a man of sorrows, acquainted with grief... Isaiah 53:3 He knows how this woman felt in the deepest recesses of her mind and heart. Jesus understand where she is, and where each of us is at. It is encouraging for me to know that He cares, He cares about that woman in torment as He cares about each one of us.

Thursday, June 5, 2008


Today I've been thinking about freedom a lot, freedom from our pasts specifically... and what "freedom" actually signifies and how my life has been all about actively pursuing it. However, sometimes I think it's just the figment of my imagination, the concept of actually attaining freedom. For every time I turn around, there something hindering our paths to achieve it. It gets so bloody annoying sometimes, this harping on the same self indulgent nonsense, such as, I had a terrible childhood, my ex boyfriend or rather ex husband ruined my life, my mother and father never loved me, that's why I am the way I am. I am a mess and it's all their fault. It's this ones fault and that ones fault, or worse, we blame God. But who tells us we have to stay stuck in the muck all our lives, licking our wounds like some old bitches (for the politically correct, bitch means dog). Granted, I can only speak for myself, but come on, enough is enough already. When are we just going to snap out of it and realize that life is for the making. And if we are just going to continue to sit around dwelling on our pasts, feeling sorry for ourselves all the time, playing the victim, we are wasting precious time. Because the one thing that never stops is the hourglass of time... it moves, there is constant movement whether we decide to move along with it or continue to stay stagnant... time still trudges forward and stops for noone... So the question is, how long are we going to sit around in the muck of self pity? When will we wake up and finally move forward and grab for that freedom we all long for? The choice is ours.